Slim Pati: Jun
by The Infamous Boss Reo
Summary: The fourth installment in the Slim Pati series! Sung to 'Stan'! (Jun bashers, please read on. ^_^)


Once again, the Return of Slim Pati! As usual, I don't own Digimon, Eminem, OR Dido. (But who wouldn't want to not be owned by her? Rrrrroowwl!)  
  
'Jun'  
(Based on the song 'Stan')  
  
By The Infamous Boss Reo  
  
  
~*~  
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..  
got out of bed at all  
The morning rain clouds up my window..  
and I can't see at all  
And even if I could it'll all be gray,  
but your picture on my wall  
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,  
it's not so bad..  
~*~  
  
  
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but he still isn't calling.  
I distinctly asked for you to leave Yamato's phone number at the bottom.  
I sent two letters to TK, askin' if he got em',  
He said he hit his head and can't remeber, I just think he doesn't want me callin'.  
I doubt he doesn't remember it anyway, or something.  
Anyway, forget it, mon, do YOU got em'?  
I tried asking everyone else, but they asked me not to bother them.   
Maybe they're just jealous, cause' they know I'm hot for him!  
  
I tried asking the operator for it, but sorry.  
They said he'd rather kill himself than let some weird freak jot em'.  
I know I've told everyone this, but I'm Matt's biggest fan.  
I even try sneaking in while the band's practicing, just to see him jam.  
  
I've got my room filled with pictures of my man.  
I heard he likes Tai though, but I just don't buy that!  
Anyway, I hope to hear back, real soon.  
Pretty please? Send me his number?  
Sincerely, This is Jun,  
  
  
~*~  
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..  
got out of bed at all  
The morning rain clouds up my window..  
and I can't see at all  
And even if I could it'll all be gray,  
but your picture on my wall  
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,  
it's not so bad..  
~*~  
  
  
Dear Slim, you still haven't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance.  
I'm warning you though, you DON'T want to make me mad!  
I KNOW you tried to avoid me, outside his concert,  
I tried looking for him myself, but somehow he knew.  
It was probably my little brother, he's only 12 years old,  
but I'll lock him out in the blistering cold, and when he asks to get back in I'll just say no!  
I know it's really mean, but Yamato is my idol!  
I want to have his baby, mon! Would I ever lie to you?!  
  
I'm not that mad, remember something i do;  
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! SO YOU BETTER RESPOND WHEN I WRITE YOU!  
So you better write back! Veemon's just like you, in a way.  
He wouldn't tell me either  
He said 'Matt wouldn't want to meet her."   
But I KNOW he loves me! I can hear it in his songs!  
So when I go to his concerts, I like to throw him some of my thongs,  
cause' I already threw everything else  
but I'm prepaired before i dress!  
I once threw fours pairs of bras I had strapped up to my breasts!  
  
Sometimes I throw a $20, just to see him on his knees,  
cause' seeing him bend over is such a sudden rush for me!  
See, my love for him is real, and I can't wait until I tell it.  
Davis asks me to shut up, from talking about it, 24-7.  
But they don't know him, like I know him, Slim! No one does!  
They don't know how much I loved him, growing up  
you BETTER call me, mon! Or you don't know how many teeth you'll lose!  
Sincerely, Jun  
  
P.S. Me and Matt will be together, too!  
  
  
~*~  
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..  
got out of bed at all  
The morning rain clouds up my window..  
and I can't see at all  
And even if I could it'll all be gray,  
but your picture on my wall  
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,  
it's not so bad..  
~*~  
  
  
Dear Mr. I'm-too-good-to-give-out-Matt's-number,  
I'm on my way over to take you six feet under!  
It's been two days since I wrote. I don't deserve it?!   
And don't say you haven't gotten my recent letter, I sent it this morning, and it's worth it!  
So this is my cassette I'm making. I know you'll hear it  
everyone else will, when they hear you screaming in it!  
Hey Slim, I'm gonna throw you off the roof, think you can fly?  
You think you can escape? No way! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!  
And as for TK and Davis, they're gonna be drowning!  
Daisuke was begging for mercy after school, where I found him!  
All I wanted was Matt's address, it's not like I was hounding!  
But now it's too late, and you're about to get a pounding!  
And all I wanted was Matt's phone number, that's all  
When I get my hands on you, you're gonna be smeared all over the wall!!!  
  
I love Matt, Pata! We're gonna be together! Think about it!  
Everytime I go to sleep, I always seem to dream about it!  
And at his concerts, I like to take my pom-poms and scream about it!  
My concsious is always EATING at me! And now I can't be without him!  
  
See Slim... SHUT UP DAVIS! I'M TRYING TO TALK!!!!  
Hey Pata, that's Daisuke in the trunk!  
But I didn't kill him yet, unlike what's gonna happen to you,   
cause' you're gonna suffocate and suffer more, then he'll die to!  
  
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at your place now.  
Huh? Hey! Wait a minute!! What are all these cops doing out?!?!  
  
(::sound of a car screeching, followed by a hysterical girl screaming and yelling, while officers open the back trunk::)  
  
  
~*~  
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..  
got out of bed at all  
The morning rain clouds up my window..  
and I can't see at all  
And even if I could it'll all be gray,  
but your picture on my wall  
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,  
it's not so bad..  
~*~  
  
  
Dear Jun,   
I won't give you Matt's number!  
Go ask Izzy!  
You think it's easy rhyming a letter? Can't you see I'm busy!?  
Look, I think it's really cute you have a crush on Matt,  
but can't you just ask him yourself?! What the hell's wrong with that?!  
  
You could've just met him at his show. He's not trying to miss you.  
But come on! You think you're the only girl with crush-on-Matt issues?!  
You think you're the one who came up with the pantie-throwing idea too?  
He get's about forty pairs each night! Even some from Taichi, too!  
  
You're messed up, Jun. I think you need some counsling.  
Maybe then you'll stop trying to get into his pants, so calm down some!  
And OF COURSE we all know that you want to be together!  
WHy do you think he doesn't want you two to meet each other?!  
I really think you need to lay off Yamato more,  
and stop acting so much like a $5 whore.  
  
I REALLY hope you read this letter, before try to hurt me.  
Just give it a while, wait and see!  
I'm glad you like him so much, but Jun? What's wrong with you?1  
What did I ever do?!  
Are you some kind of loon?!  
  
I don't want something bad to happen to me!  
Can't we talk this out? Can't you just let me be?!   
  
You know, last night, I was seeing this on the news;  
some girl was arrested, and she was acting just like you!  
And her little brother was in the trunk, his name was Davis too!  
  
Wait a sec, come to think about it... the one they were hauling was you..  
  
....  
  
Well, THAT was a waste of paper! (crumples up the letter and throws it away.)   



End file.
